


What They Said Can't Hurt

by zaynssinglestrand



Category: Harry Styles - Fandom, Louis Tomlinson - Fandom, One Direction (Band), liam payne - Fandom, niall horan - Fandom, zayn malik - Fandom
Genre: Break Up, Drinking, Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson Break Up, Hate Crimes, M/M, One Direction Hiatus, Self-Harm, Smoking
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-03
Updated: 2020-12-03
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27854402
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zaynssinglestrand/pseuds/zaynssinglestrand
Summary: After suffering a tough break up, Louis and Harry are off living their lives, at their worst. Louis isn't doing well and he needs Harry. Harry's the only who can help him, but Harry too busy feasting on his own guilt to realize that Louis needs him and Louis would rather be in pain than talk to the man who caused this pain. Little does Louis know, Harry's facing similar pain, because he never wanted to cause this pain. He didn't have a choice.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles/Taylor Swift
Kudos: 8





	What They Said Can't Hurt

Louis’s POV  
I can’t keep living like this. Drink after drink. Smoke after smoke. It’s hard. I miss him. But I can’t be with him. I just wanna know why. Why he did this to me. Did he wanna see me suffer? I thought I was his other half, his soulmate, the only one meant for him.  
I take another shot as these thoughts bombard me. Shit, my head. These headaches, I’ve been getting them for a while. Ever since he… since he stopped talking to me. Really, it was out of nowhere. I would’ve never seen it coming. And shit, these thoughts are back. I can’t escape them, escape him. He’s always been my everything, my anchor. He kept me sane, from spiralling, which happens when I’m away from him. 2 months. 2 fucking months. That’s how long I’ve gone without seeing him, talking to him, feeling him, but no matter what I still need him. I can’t do this. I can’t.  
Finally snapping out of my spiral, I went to the kitchen to grab another bottle. I’ve found myself finishing multiple bottles of alcohol everyday, but there's nothing I can do about it. I fill up my dirty glass and head to the balcony, thoughts filling me up before I could even take a sip.  
Him. Him. Him. Harry. Harry. Harry. Mine. Mine. Mine. All mine. Or so he was. We had everything I had ever dreamed of, maybe more. I couldn’t bear to be here, away from him. I wasn’t drunk enough to drunk text him, as much as I wanted to. I need to see him again.  
Stupid head. Stupid brain. Stupid thought. I wish I could get rid of them. An old pack of cigarettes sat in my pocket, I went to grab them because it was what I really needed right now. I rested a single cigarette in between my lips and inhaled. Smoke filled my lungs. It was a strange feeling, but I enjoyed it. It helped me forget about the world. Everything that’s going on just disappears for a few seconds. One of my favorite feelings ever. After finishing a couple cigarettes, I decide to head inside, attempt to sleep. I throw off my clothes from today and slide under my cover wearing just my boxers. Immediately my head fills. Thoughts spilling from everywhere. Of course this has to happen, I think to myself as I shove my face into my pillow. For a second I hope, I hope that maybe when I reach over he’ll be there. He’ll tell me everything's okay, he’ll hold me, hug me, releasing every worrisome thought from my brain. Slowly, I reach my hands out, praying, wishing, hoping. Nothing. Like I expected. What made me think this would be a good idea, I say to myself. Suddenly, I taste the saltiness of my tears. They stream down my face and it’s too late to stop them. They just keep coming. Harry could wipe them away for me, Harry could hug all the pain away. When in reality he can’t, he’s gone. He doesn’t love me, he never did, and he never will. The only person I ever cared about, trusted, truly loved, gone with four words. Those four words I will never forget. Those four words that broke me. Brought me to this everlasting pain. “I’ve never loved you”. The tears keep coming, there’s no one here. There never was. He didn’t love me. None of it was real. Late nights out. Those days we stayed in. HE was there for me during all my highs and lows. But right now, it’s the lowest of the low, and there’s no one. No one to ask me how my day was. No one to be proud of me for doing simple tasks because they know I struggle. No one to kiss my scars and tell me everything will be okay, to tell me how beautiful I am. I wouldn’t believe it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> wait y'all why have people like read this, anyway i'm gonna write more later today, i have school tho, i might get some done in class but i dont know yet


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